Consciousness: The difference with tracking
Walking to the bus to work early this afternoon I realized I hadn't taken my meds. Given that my nighttime doses often get taken at odd hours (for instance, hmmm, 2 AM!?) at 12:30 my Zenhale (Dulera) would have been holding me okay and I didn't really have time to go back (well I did, but I didn't know that I'd go to the wrong bus/miss my bus eight minutes later at that point in time). I had my rescue inhaler and figured all would be well. Work was good, the walk home at 4 was tough and I just felt tired, not necessarily lung-y, but things lifted pretty quick once I got out of the heat.
How did I manage to forget to take ALL of my meds though?! They are ON THE COUNTER where I can see them! Fortunately, my asthma has been pretty good lately, so maybe that's why I've gotten complacent. But, guess what I'm not doing a lot of right now? Yes, that's right, self-tracking, quantified self-ing, asthma journaling, what have you. I don't want to burn out on it, nor do I want to make something I enjoy into something I hate. It’s all about pacing.
I don't make this mistake often—but when I do, it's really annoying: I’ve been at this how many years now? Especially now that I've made this realization that, guess what, here's another reason that tracking is good for this ADHDer with asthma—even if, this time, I have to simply let go and move forward.
Here's what I can say with certainty, though: tracking makes me aware. I'd have never gotten out of the house without taking my inhalers and my ADHD medicine if I were self-tracking. Noooope. Even if logging doesn't immediately contribute to my knowledge about my asthma’s inner workings, logging my meds and symptoms helps me to be more aware of my asthma, in a way that is task oriented--and in a way I can see as productive. This awareness makes me more conscious about how I deal with my asthma, and probably—in the long run—produces less of my own errors, and better results 1. And for me, I just can’t get that same feeling of asthma grip without logging, even if I’m aware I cannot do it all the time. It’s a paradox.
Now if only I could automate my system so that my phone would flip out if I left home without taking my meds... Or at least make me log things so I'd become aware of my slip a bit closer to home (not that my geofence is set up all that precisely as it stands), where I could turn around and actually take my meds. It’s not that I shouldn’t try to remember—I’m good 97% of the time—and for the times like these, where I slip… Yep, just have to let go and try again… Log or no log to inform me.
Have you experienced a collapsed lung?