“I hope that’s not rude…” No, it’s CONSIDERATE!
I have a friend who has gotten really into art in the last year or so. Tonight, I messaged him for some advice on some pastels I was thinking about buying online, given that I am a total novice and I just think the $3.99 Crayola oil pastels I purchased a few months ago are super fun to play around with. When he was explaining to me some things about the soft/chalk pastels I was looking at (and linking him to) versus oil pastels, he explained that these sorts of pastels need “special handling” to make sure they don’t smudge/smear where you don’t want them to (ie. when you are done working on the piece). I asked him to elaborate and he explained to my non-arty self about “fixative” sprays which essentially protect your work from the smudges (my words, not his).
He explained to me that these products are “very similar to hair spray, and [he] would hesitate to recommend them to a PWA,” (person with asthma) following that he hoped that wasn’t rude.
I immediately laughed (both in real life and virtually) and said “No, not at ALL. It’s very considerate!"
It’s, of course, true that the people who say “I hope this isn’t rude,” are often the most considerate, especially when you know them well. I know that this friend is not afraid to ask questions he has about my asthma, just as if I ever have questions about something he’s said about his diabetes, he’d be more than happy to tackle them. Naturally, we usually consider one another (at least I think he thinks this way too!) of inquisitive rather than rude when offering mindful advice!
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