Can Moms Hold Down a Job if They Have Chronically Sick Kids?

Now before anyone complains, I know that other family members can be caregivers. I am speaking from our family's experience over the last 22 years.

Recently, I was at an asthma conference and shared my experience of not being able to work outside the home when my kids were little. I did not have parents (they were deceased) or friends that could help when my kids were sick. Just one elderly neighbor (and we were glad to have her!)

Raising three children with allergies and asthma was rough. They were often sick and at the doctor's office/Urgent Care/ER or in the hospital.

I quickly learned that if a neighbor kid, classmate, or family member had a cold, they would be sick for a few days but be okay. If any of my kids or I got a cold, it would usually morph into bronchitis or pneumonia...and another hospitalization.

Why I could not work

I mentioned that I spent a LOT of time at the doctor's office. My husband commuted and worked long hours, so I was responsible for my kid's medical care. Like many caregivers of kids with asthma, this is what I spent my time doing:

• Allergy Shots- all three of my kids had severe allergies and needed allergy shots. The series of allergy shots takes 3- 5 years. But - my kids all "qualified" for allergy shots at different times and were on different schedules. So I was at Asthma Doc's office twice a week with one or more of my kids...for 10 years. Yep, 10 years.
• Monthly Biologic Injection - My middle son had severe asthma and needed a pricey injection of a biologic every month. Asthma Doc would not give that at the same time as allergy shots, so I would have to take him back the next day.
• Sick Visits- we had many extra visits when one of us had bronchitis, RSV, pneumonia, strep throat, etc.
• Hospital Stays- my kids were usually in the hospital for 3 days when they had pneumonia, RSV, or were affected by wildfire smoke. But one of the ICU visits was 7 days.
• Recovery Time- anyone who gets admitted to the hospital has to be VERY sick to get a bed. When one of my kids was discharged, they were still sick, just not sick enough to stay in the hospital. They were still coughing, needing breathing treatments, antibiotics, and did not have any energy. Asthma Doc told me to keep the kids home from school for a week so they could regain some strength.
• Tethered to an Oxygen Tank - My kids were often discharged with an oxygen tank. It would take a while to wean them off oxygen, which we could do at home. That meant missing another week of school.
• Pulled Out of School- When Middle Son was in Junior High, he was in the hospital and on steroids so often that his immune system was impaired. Asthma Doc said that my son would never get better if he was exposed to sick students every day. He asked me to keep my son out of school for at least a month (hello tutors!).

Were you able to work and be a caregiver?

Everyone with asthma is different, but this was our family's journey. Even though I am back in the workforce, I still get a call from one of my adult kids who has pneumonia again and is too sick to drive themselves to the ER.

How has having kids with allergies and asthma affected your job? Were you able to work? Or did you need to stay home and take care of your kids?

Let's hear from the dads and other caregivers, too. How has it impacted your jobs?