All About The Little Things

This week, has been a mix bag from a symptoms perspective. It could be the weather (thankfully it has not been sweltering hot this week), it could be seasonal allergies, it could be the remains of an exacerbation that are just lingering on. In general, I just make the most of it, ensuring that I activate a bump up in my maintenance doses of my meds and staying in touch with my specialist.

I was reminded this week of the some of the simple modifications that I need to make as an asthmatics. I think we often don't think about asthma impacting other parts of our life. There is certainly a considerable connection between making environmental and space modification but do we truly think about the little things.

I recalled a moment that I had in a jewelry store. I need to get a necklace length adjusted. It was a beautiful gift I had received however, it sat just below my collarbone and I received it during a time in which my asthma was quite uncontrolled despite a host of many meds and treatment options. Just the thought of this itty bitty smallish necklace sitting on neck was unappealing. I remember wearing it briefly and then experiencing a respiratory situation. The feeling of even a tiny piece of precious metal, felt like a lead balloon crushing any air that was moving. I was so overwhelmed, between the ongoing symptoms and the fact that a little tiny piece of jewelry that was so supposed to bring so much joy, seemed to be bringing on the weight of an entire disease. How would I explain this to the person who gave it to me, "I love your gift but it may be suffocating me"? Why was this disease affecting my life like this? When you are in a situation where you need accessory muscles to assist with breathing, (which is never a good). Even the smallest things can make a difference.

I remember specifically that I went into the fancy jewelry store where the necklace was from and basically broke down on the very lovely sales associate. I remember telling her that I had these crappy lungs, and while the doctor were sure of the diagnosis, they weren't sure why I wasn't getting better. That I loved the necklace but can't breath with it on. I didn't want to hurt the person who gave it to me but that I just couldn't breath. I am sure that you can imagine all the emotions that were running through this conversation were just escalating my symptoms. This random saleswoman was one of the first people that I shared the magnitude of my disease with. She was so very kind and understanding. Every time I wear the necklace which now has a very lovely extension on it , that the shop custom designed and put in for me, I think of all the ups and downs that I have gone through and that things are still evolving.

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