A Love Letter To Asthma

Dear Asthma,

I know we have been together for over four decades now, and I know this may be quite hard to hear, but I feel now is the right time to say this. I think we need a trial separation. I totally understand this is going to be difficult to do right now. Especially with the winter season now in full blast. I know you like to cling to my chest at this time of year but I just feel a little claustrophobic right now. Look, calm down, it's just a trial separation! You know what you are like, you'll be back in the summer enjoying all that warm sticky pollen-ridden air that you love. As I write this, I have Elvis Presley's 'If I Can Dream' in my ears, and the song has given me the courage to write my feelings down on paper.

I need to break free

The truth is, I feel I need to get some air. You have been holding me back for far too long now. You always get your own way. You always decide on what we can or can't do and I am at the end of my tether with all this. I have this reoccurring dream that I can walk in the warm sunshine taking in deep breaths without you wheezing at my side. I know this sounds a bit cruel, but hey, I need to put myself first. Why me by the way? What was it you saw in me that first attracted you to me? I know you always used to say that you were attracted to my weak immune system but was that the only reason?

You need to leave me in peace, asthma

And why did you have to bring your baby cousin Eczema to stay with us in the spring of '78? I can tell you now that she has long outstayed her welcome. Listen, I know it must feel like I am harping on at you but the time has come for you to just pack your bags and go on a long vacation somewhere. I think you would really love certain parts of India and China where the smog levels would make you literally salivate with anticipation. As I finish this letter, I am taking an extra puff of Seretide that my doctor recommended. Yes, I know it absolutely kills you to hear this but I have to take some urgent control here. Just the thought of being independent and on my own is already filling me with joy.

I know I shouldn't gloat but I am so excited at all the things I might be able to do without you here?! Perhaps we can meet up for a coffee after Christmas, you know, just when the weather starts to turn even colder. But for now, I will say my goodbyes. Don't bother trying to get into contact over the festive period. I am not going to be drinking or eating any foods that you like. And everyone I know that smokes does it outside the house, so you'd be wasting your time trying to turn up.

Pete