Advice from My Mom: Keep Moving and Use Your Spoons
Before my mom passed away a few years ago, I asked her to give me one piece of life advice that she really wanted me to follow. I was ready to hear something about how I should love harder, be more trusting, or stop saving all the good stuff to use for one perfect day in the future.
Instead, she said, “Lorene, keep moving. Move your body every day. My biggest regret is that I stopped moving when I could still move. Now I can barely move. Don’t stop moving like I did.”
I smiled at her warmly. It was such unexpected advice, and I had to think about it for a minute before I could ask any follow-up questions.
She shared how hard it is to get through life when you can’t physically walk from your front porch to the car. Or you can’t carry a basket of laundry or a bag of groceries. She explained how she missed the simple pleasure of walking into the backyard to talk with the neighbor that lived behind her. All the things able-bodied and people without chronic conditions, like asthma, take for granted.
I do not think she realized how much I could relate to her situation. Living with severe, persistent asthma has certainly limited my ability to do many things. Losing my breath when walking up a flight of stairs even when my asthma is fine. Non-stop coughing when my asthma is not fine. Spending days on my sofa with my nebulizer right next to me, feeling too exhausted to eat or shower.
Finding my balance with spoon theory and asthma
It has been a challenge to find the right balance between moving my body to keep it (and my lungs) as healthy as possible while also understanding rest is sometimes needed. I am a believer in spoon theory, which says that everyone wakes up with a certain number of “spoons” a day to use. The spoons represent the amount of energy and ability you have based on how your condition presents that day.
A person without asthma may wake up with 10 spoons, so they can go through their day without worrying about depleting their spoon reserve. People with asthma or other chronic conditions might start with only 4 spoons. Each activity uses a spoon. Taking a shower and getting dressed may require a quarter of a spoon for someone without asthma, but someone with asthma may need 1 full spoon or more for the same activity.
Sometimes, I have an entire handful of spoons to use, and I do so with gusto. When I wake up feeling good and breathing easy, I feel like I can conquer the world. I also know that tomorrow, I may only have a few spoons to use, and I don't want to waste any today.
Did I use too many yesterday? If I reserved some spoons/energy yesterday, would I have more energy today? Did I cause today’s spoon shortage, or is this just the way asthma works? It feels like a guessing game.
Use those spoons when you can
In my mom’s case, she did not use all her daily spoons when she had them. Like many people her age, she became isolated and lonely. She lost the desire to move her body, and then when she wanted to, she could not.
Managing those spoons and my daily energy is an important part of managing my asthma. My goal every day is to follow my mom’s advice and keep being as physically active as possible. I want to use every spoon I have, whenever I can!
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