What Would You Do With One Month Asthma Free?

So, imagine, if you would, going one month without asthma. Just for fun, let’s toss in a month without allergies as well, as one may lead to the other. If you could go one month without asthma, what would you do?

Here is what I would do.  I would...

Run without pacing myself

Mow my own lawn.

Do my own renovation work around my house, as opposed to hiring it out.

Organize all of the 100,000 vintage baseball cards I have in my basement in a few days rather than pacing this job out over several months or years. (Would you believe baseball cards can become infested with dust mites? It’s true. They love flakes of dead skin, and after handling them, that’s what you leave behind. “Yum Yum,” say the dust mites. Of course when you handle them, their feces get into the air for you to inhale.)

Clean and organize my basement in one day, as opposed to pacing out the job over the course of several months.

Sift through those dust mite filled boxes of memorabilia in my basement, and then get it all organized in one day

Make things with wood without worrying about wood dust triggering asthma, such as picture frames, tables, desks, etc. That’s something I have always wanted to do.

Keep the windows open on nice days when pollen counts are high without getting the sniffles (I do this anyway, but get the sniffles).

Go to hunting camp, stand around the fire, smoke a cigar, drink as many whiskey and cokes as I want, and then play pinochle in the cabin warmed by wood smoke while the guys smoke cigarettes.

And then sleep on the dusty beds using dusty blankets without worrying about what time I’m going to wake up with severe allergies and asthma.

Climb down into the cellar of the cabin to see what is down there

Not take any Benadryl (it causes drowsiness).

Leave home without my friend Al Buterol.

Not take any medicine at all, for that matter, unless I get a headache (which I probably wouldn’t, because I suspect asthma and allergies are the cause of most of these).

Take my kids camping and make a huge fire for making S'mores.

Go to my mom’s house, and into her basement, and into that old chest down there, and rummage through it looking for an old Halloween costume. Then I would wear it and scare the crap out of any kid that comes near me on Halloween night. I would even wear the dust mite ridden mask, right over my face and nose.

Go to a Detroit Lions game in Detroit and stay at my brother Tony’s house, maybe even pet one of his six cats, instead of staying at a hotel.

Take my kids to Great Wolf Lodge without feeling miserable the next day due to the massive chlorine dose.

Buy an old house, completely gut it, remodel the whole thing (maybe with the help of my brothers) and then sell it for a huge profit.

Switch careers and become an electrician, or perhaps become a general contractor and build houses.

Read one of the antique books my grandma gave me.

Buy a plot of land in the middle of the forest with the money I made selling the home I remodeled, and then build my own home (perhaps, again, with a little help from my brothers).

So, that’s what I would do if I could turn my asthma genes off for one month. What would you do?

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