Things Not to Say to an Asthmatic: Third Edition
When this site started I made a list of “Things Not To Say To An Asthmatic.” A few years later I updated this list “More Things Not To Say To An Asthmatic.” In both those posts, I asked for your help adding to our list of things not to say. So, based on your responses, here is the third edition of things not to say to asthmatics.
What not to say to a person with asthma
“Your hands are trembling, you must be nervous.”
Or, “Your hands are tremoring. You must be going through detox.” I work in a hospital. So, I typically feel I need to go on the defense when I hear this one. “No, I am not nervous. I take asthma medicines with a side effect of tremors.” Another response I find that works are, “I just drank too much coffee this morning.” Usually, this leads to a nice discussion and clears the air. Although, a part of my mind, the insecure part, continues to wonder.
"You are overweight. You must not eat very healthily.”
And here I might go on defense again. I might say, “Look, I am overweight because of the steroids I take to treat this disease.” Although, I typically just let it slide and let them assume what they want.
"If you became a runner, your asthma would go away."
Uh, yeah, I wish.
“Essential oils (or name your product) can cure asthma."
This is another one that gets the response of, “I wish.” And I might add, “Surely, if there was a cure for this disease it would be plastered all over the news, don’t you think?” Thankfully, there are some great medicines today to help most of us gain good control. But there is no known cure at the present time.
“With asthma as bad as yours, why do you even bother coming (here)?”
With me, here is hunting camp. The reason I come here is that I want to hang out with guys like you! I want to be normal. Besides, the goal of good asthma control is so you can do all the things you enjoy. So, why would I not go to (hunting camp)?
“You are a useless piece of skin!”
Ouch! That hurt. Actually, I’m just taking it easy because my asthma is acting up.
“Oh, sorry, I forgot you had asthma.”
Like, you know I have asthma...you are my (mom, dad, grandma, brother, best friend, DOCTOR!) I mean, for crying out loud, how do you forget!?
“You’re having a panic attack!”
Good observation, buddy! I can’t breathe!
“Yes, but I’m wearing the best cologne/perfume!"
Or, “Yes, but I’m not wearing that much!”
Look, strong smells trigger my asthma. It doesn’t matter how much they cost. It doesn’t matter if it’s just a drab.
“You’re on maintenance medicines. You should be fine!”
Yes, there are some great medicines to help us obtain good control of our asthma, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still experience asthma.
“Turn your nebulizer off, it's too loud."
Umm, I need this so I can breathe! Do you want to take me to the hospital? I didn’t think so!
“You shouldn’t be taking that inhaler so much. You’ll get addicted!”
This is referring to rescue inhalers. And, yes, they should be used only as prescribed. Still, this is what is needed to help me breathe!
"I have asthma and I don't cough, so you don't have asthma."
Just because you don't cough in no way indicates asthma won't make me cough. In fact, asthma affects each of us in different ways. Some of us wheeze. Some of us do not wheeze. Some of us cough. Some of us do not cough.
"Well, you don't LOOK like someone who used their inhaler multiple times tonight!"
The person who gave us this quote also had a great response: "Look! Perhaps wait a few more hours for one of my family members to find me dead at home!"
This one is similar to: "Your sat is fine. So you can't be short of breath!"
A good doctor/nurse/respiratory therapist will know better. Asthma is an invisible illness. We may look perfectly normal. But, that doesn't mean we don't feel sick inside.
"Look, I have asthma too. And I can do that, why can't you?"
This is the only one on my list that is sometimes said by our fellow asthmatics. The assumption they make all asthma is the same. And, yes, doctors used to believe all asthma was the same, so they treated all asthma the same. This made it so some asthmatics weren't getting the treatment they deserved, and so their asthma remained uncontrolled.
Today, we know that not all asthma is the same. Each of us has a different asthma presentation. My triggers may not be the same as yours. My asthma attacks may not be as bad as yours. Or, my asthma attacks may be worse than yours. And what treatments work best may vary from one asthmatic to the next.
Let's keep this going!
If you've heard comments like these, now you know you are not alone. We'd sure like to keep this list going. What are some other examples of things someone shouldn't say to a person with asthma?
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