Dos And Don’ts for Dating a Person With Asthma

If you're dating someone with asthma, I can offer you some valuable insights. First off, it’s important to know that asthma itself shouldn’t hinder your relationship. However, there are some things you can do and not do to strengthen your connection. Here are some essential dos and don'ts.

Don't: Ignore your asthmatic date if they are struggling to breathe. Ignoring them can make them feel uncared for and dismissed.

Do: Offer empathy. As someone with asthma, I don't expect pity. But it's comforting when my partner shows understanding. If I return from a run gasping for air, a simple "Is there anything I can do?" means a lot. I usually manage alone, but knowing you care matters a lot to me.

Don't: Be unwilling to change. For instance, if your date has asthma and prefers not to wear cologne due to triggers, it's important to respect their needs. Giving cologne as a gift despite knowing this can be insensitive and potentially harmful to their health.

Do: Be open to making adjustments. For instance, strong scents like cologne trigger my asthma, so I avoid wearing it. So, it may not be a good idea to give me cologne as a Christmas gift. Similarly, perfumes and strong cleaners can be problematic. Being willing to use asthma-friendly products, like unscented cleaners and detergents, can benefit the relationship. Remember, every person with asthma is different, so flexibility is key.

Don’t: Disregard your partner's efforts to educate you about their asthma. Ignoring or dismissing their insights can undermine your ability to support them effectively and may lead to misunderstandings or unnecessary challenges in your relationship.

Do: Educate yourself about asthma. You don’t need to spend a lot of time doing this, and you may not even have to read books. Although, doing so can go a long way to helping you become the best partner you can be. While asthma shouldn’t be at the forefront of most conversations, you may be able to learn all you need to know about your partner’s asthma through simple conversations with them.

Don't: Dismiss or belittle your partner's concerns about their asthma. Doing so can make them feel invalidated and uncared for. Similarly, don't react negatively if your partner is unable to participate in certain activities due to asthma. Everyone has limitations, and ridiculing your partner for theirs can be hurtful and damaging to your relationship.

Do: Be understanding of your partner’s limitations. Be understanding and accepting if your partner needs to skip planned activities due to their asthma. They may also choose to avoid certain activities even when their asthma is well-controlled, out of fear of triggering symptoms. Show empathy and support their decisions, reassuring them that their health and well-being are the top priority.

Wrapping up on dating with Asthma

Again, a person's health condition should never be the focal point of any relationship. That's my perspective as a lifelong asthmatic. However, understanding and accommodating each other's needs, including those related to asthma, can foster a deeper connection and strengthen the bond between partners.